gone wrong

[[START->A]]{ }

<counter>UNTOLD HOURS REMAINING</counter> It’s the start of summer. Spring is over, and with it the school year, as of two days ago: it’s time to rest [[now.->B]]

<counter>UNTOLD HOURS REMAINING</counter> Your name is Ana Wilson, you are 21 years old, and you have just completed your third year of a bachelor's degree. You are currently lying in bed. It is 5 p.m. on a [[Wednesday.->C]]

<counter>UNTOLD HOURS REMAINING</counter> On Wednesdays, your mother insists on a sit-down family dinner. You are lying in bed at 5 p.m., with the summer sun crawling in through the window at a jaunty angle and insisting it's only late afternoon, waiting for her knock at your door. She does not knock yet: she is pre-empted by another (link-reveal: "sound.")[ You've been startled by a sudden cascade of notifications from your [[phone.->D]] ]

<counter>UNTOLD HOURS REMAINING</counter> You check your notifications. <phone>Three New Alerts >Email: [[Message from Eliza Crandell]] (elizabeth.crandell@registrar.myland.edu) >Email: [[Message from MyNews Campus Newsletter Mailing List]] (newsletter@myland.edu) >Facebook: [[Friend Request from Lila Lamont]] >Text: [[Message from Jazz 💖]]{ </phone> (if: $facebook is "yes")[The Facebook request has brought a memory to the surface. You'd mostly tried to forget about [[Lila.->E]]] }

<counter>UNTOLD HOURS REMAINING</counter> ''From:'' Eliza Crandell (elizabeth.crandell@registrar.myland.edu) ''To:'' Ana Wilson (wilson.ana@myland.edu) ''Subject:'' End-Of-Term Grades Finalized Hello Ana, Final exam results have been processed, and your scores are as follows: BIOL 440 - Biostatistics: A (95%) CHEM 210 - Analytical Chemistry: A (94%) CHEM 210A - Analytical Chemistry LAB: A- (90%) FILM 160 - Intro to Film History: A (98%) MATH 340 - Statistics for Data Science: A (96%) <counter>[[Back to inbox->D]]</counter>

<counter>UNTOLD HOURS REMAINING</counter> ''From:'' MyNews Campus Newsletter Mailing List (newsletter@myland.edu) ''To:'' MAILTO: mailing-list (other recipients hidden) ''Subject:'' Final Grades Advisory <emailbody> Hi fellow Mylanders! I'm happy to announce that final exam grades have been posted, and class grades for the year have been finalized. This is a brief reminder to check your grades, be proud of what you've achieved, and if you're not proud of them--to file any academic petitions within the next seven calendar days! Enjoy your break, Kels</emailbody> <counter>[[Back to inbox->D]]</counter>

<counter>UNTOLD HOURS REMAINING</counter>(set: $facebook to "yes") <phone>''Lila Lamont'' has sent you a friend request. Confirm OR Delete?</phone> <counter>[[Back to inbox->D]]</counter>

<counter>UNTOLD HOURS REMAINING</counter> <phone>''From'': Jazz 💖 ''To:'' Ana ⚡ I hope tonight goes well. Love you</phone> <counter>[[Back to inbox->D]]</counter>

<counter>UNTOLD HOURS REMAINING</counter> You remember Lila the little girl: rectangular glasses and a star-shaped scar on one cheek. You remember Lila as those things and those things only. You cannot resist your morbid curiosity about Lila the woman. <phone>''Lila Lamont'' has sent you a friend request. [[Confirm->F]] OR Delete?</phone>

<counter>UNTOLD HOURS REMAINING</counter> <phone>You have added a new friend! [[View profile?->G]]</phone>

<counter>UNTOLD HOURS REMAINING</counter> The person in the Facebook profile picture looks like Lila, but big. The most general features are the same, though she isn't wearing glasses: brown hair, brown eyes, square jaw coming to fine points. And the scar, of course. It's a starburst like a shrapnel wound, raised and made of many fine lines. Lila had made no effort to conceal it in her profile photo, and it gives a charming asymmetry to her perfect, blinding smile. Mostly, though, she is unrecognizable. Lila as you knew her seems blurry in comparison. Those memories feel almost (link-reveal:"unfinished--")[ Ding! <phone>One New Alert >Facebook: [[Message from Lila Lamont->H]] ]

<counter>UNTOLD HOURS REMAINING</counter> <phone>''Lila Lamont:'' Hi, Ana! It’s me, Lila Lamont. We met at First Heights Elementary when we were kids? I'm back in town so I thought we could grab coffee sometime and catch up (link-reveal:"maybe!")[ ''Ana Wilson:'' (link-reveal:"Yes.")[ (link-reveal:"I mean, I'd love to.")[ ''Lila Lamont:'' (link-reveal:"Awesome are you free at 3 o'clock on Friday? We could meet at the Starbucks off Main")[ ''Ana Wilson:'' Yes, I'm free. See you [[then.->I]] ] ] ] ]

<counter>46 HOURS REMAINING</counter> The countdown until your meeting with Lila has (link-reveal:"begun.")[ You slump back in your bed, and throw a hand over your eyes instead of closing the window's blind. You go back to [[waiting.->J1]] ]

<counter>43 HOURS REMAINING</counter> "Goodnight, Mom," you tell your mother, and peel off your dish gloves. "Goodnight, Ana," she says, returning the last bottle of spices to its place in the rack on the counter. Your hands are supple and dry with the gloves now gone, and you flex two fingers in a curve, just for a second, and then [[relax.->K]]

<counter>43 HOURS REMAINING</counter> You leave the kitchen down the short hallway, and you return to your childhood bedroom. The sun has not even begun to set, and the blind is not closed, so finally you close it. Suddenly, your old room becomes familiar again. All the changes of time are hidden. Darkness paints over the gouges in the slatted wood bedframe and the most recent band posters on the wall, darkness refills its old pool on the floor over the one floorboard that sits lower than the rest, darkness outlines the few plastic stars still clinging to the ceiling and emitting a weak glow. Darkness makes your memories feel sharper in comparison. They are like plastic stars: little points of [[light.->L]]

<counter>43 HOURS REMAINING</counter> You drag the duvet to the floor, slide under just the bedsheet, and try not to sweat. As you trace a constellation with your gaze, between plastic stars, you realize that you intend to (link-reveal:"apologize.")[ You're going to tell Lila about what happened, and how it happened, and how sorry you are. You fall asleep wondering about how to get her to [[believe you.->M1]] ]

<counter>46 HOURS REMAINING</counter> Time [[passes.->J]]

<counter>43 HOURS REMAINING</counter> Time [[passes.->M]]

<counter>30 HOURS REMAINING</counter> DING! DING! DING! <phone>Six New Alerts >Clock: 9 a.m. Alarm >Clock: 8:30 a.m. Alarm >Clock: 8 a.m. Alarm >Clock: 7:45 a.m. Alarm >Clock: 7:30 a.m. Alarm Facebook: [[Message from Lila Lamont->N]]

<counter>30 HOURS REMAINING</counter> <phone>''Lila Lamont:'' I JUST remembered that Starbucks off Main could mean at least 2 different places, my bad! I was thinking of the on Columbine Road but the one at Main and Broadway would work (link-reveal:"too")[ ''Ana Wilson:'' Columbine Rd is fine for me. I'll see you [[there.->O1]]]

<counter>30 HOURS REMAINING</counter> Time [[passes.->O]]

<counter>27 HOURS REMAINING</counter> You are sitting on the discarded duvet on the floor of your bedroom, tapping on your phone. You've had your phones note-taking app open for two hours now, maybe. You've written and then discarded several drafts. The previews of their contents trail off in incomplete sentences. <noteshead>NOTES </noteshead><notes> >Have you ever wondered about why you can't... >At the end of sixth grade, in July, you and I... >First, I'd like to say that none of this is your... >This is going to sound insane, and I appreciate...</notes> You reread them, grimly, and then open a blank [[document.->P]]

<counter>27 HOURS REMAINING</counter> You type a few sentences, but it isn't going to work. You knew it wouldn't work. You wrote a lot of notes like these already, during the summer before seventh grade started, and they never worked either. That's why you agreed to coffee. You have to say it to her, not write it. You need to look her in the [[eye.->Q]]

<counter>27 HOURS REMAINING</counter> You close the Notes app and switch to Facebook. The chat with Lila is your most recent, and you navigate to her profile quickly. After a moment, you minimize Facebook, open the Voice Memo app, and press the red button to start (link-reveal:"recording.")[ Then you switch back to Facebook, and look at Lila's profile picture. Her brown hair is long and glossy but pulled back into a tight ponytail. Her brown eyes, uncovered, are framed by a few small moles around the sockets: at her temples, beside her nose, just under her right eyebrow. A raised line trailing off the scar on her cheek ends only a few pixels away from one of the moles. Whatever you decide to say, you must say it to her [[face.->R]]]

<counter>27 HOURS REMAINING</counter> Time [[passes.->R1]]

<counter>20 HOURS REMAINING</counter> You're recording another voice memo when there is a knock at your bedroom [[door.->S]]

<counter>20 HOURS REMAINING</counter> You pause the recording and look up at the closed door. Your mother opens it after a moment, and says, "Ana. What are you doing?" You can't tell her. "I was just...I was just, um, practicing. I’ve got a...well..." Your mother cuts you off. "Speak clearly, Ana. Take a moment to think. Now, what are you practicing for?" "I’ve got a prior engagement," you tell her. "I've got a big announcement for a friend." She raises her eyebrows, and smiles. "You have friends? In town?" "Yes," you admit, and then say, "I can practice more quietly. [[Sorry."->T1]]

<counter>20 HOURS REMAINING</counter> Time [[passes.->T2]]

<counter>16 HOURS REMAINING</counter> It passes quickly, and the second summer day left to you [[ends.->T]]

<counter>3 HOURS REMAINING</counter> Now it's noon on Friday, and you are getting ready early. You don't live too far from Starbucks. Not too far from any of them, really, but even the one on Columbine Road is close enough. Fifteen minutes in the car at most. You dress yourself, in a t-shirt and jeans and a blue satin jacket that's too heavy for the weather. You leave your hair down, covering your neck. You stare into the mirror. And time [[passes.->U]]

<counter>0 HOURS 45 MINUTES REMAINING</counter> At Starbucks, you look around uneasily, and then check your phone's GPS. This location looks exactly the same as all the others, but according to GPS, you're in the right place. According to the street sign visible through a window that says COLUMBINE ROAD, you're in the right place. Really, you're not sure why bothered to check. The barista is the same as any other, too, when you approach him. He's around your age, has curly brownish hair, and he makes your iced latte without interest. You take it with you to a table flanked by armchairs, and sit in the one that faces toward the door. Time [[passes.->V]]

<counter>0 HOURS 0 MINUTES REMAINING</counter> When Lila arrives, she spots you instantly, and her smile crinkles the faded scar on her cheek. “Ana!” she exclaims. “There you are. Sorry, am I (link-reveal:"late?''")[ “No, you’re fine,” you tell her. “I was just early. I guess I was little nervous, you know? It has been a (link-reveal:"while.''")[ “True,” Lila says, and drops into an armchair. “What've you been up to? I'm a chemistry major at UC, and I'm graduating in the (link-reveal:"fall.''")[ "No way," you say, "I'm studying biochem," and everything from there feels [[natural.->W]]]]]

<counter>0 HOURS 0 MINUTES REMAINING</counter>